Happiness is not a goal to be pursued, but rather the effect of pursuing a goal.
-- John Stuart Mill

What's holding you back?

If you think about just one of the things you have been putting off and analyze the reasons you have been procrastinating, your self-analysis may surprise you.

For instance, you may discover you're being driven by peer pressure, unjustified feelings of obligation, or a desire to create or preserve an image that is not consistent with the "real you." That realization could lead to feelings of disappointment, but it could also be a big relief.

I'm going to show you strategies that help you invent your own ways to conquer procrastination, fear and bad habits! We all need self-control and self-discipline in order to govern ourselves by reason rather than becoming subject to varying emotional states.

Now you're seeing how you can begin to free yourself of guilt and understand why you've been "stuck." Such insights can be liberating and free your mental energy for something else.

What's really behind your tendency to procrastinate?

Often it is nothing more or less than fear, such as the minor anxiety we all feel when filling out a form or jotting down a brief letter. Unconsciously we may be thinking: "If I don't get this right, will I still be admitted?" Or, "Will the person to whom I am writing fulfill my request?"

Thoughts of failure or rejection are very real and can make us feel exposed and vulnerable. Similar anxieties can come into play when we put off an important meeting or appointment.

Such fears are understandable if prior contact with a person has resulted in feelings of failure or inferiority. But sometimes we avoid people whom we need to see but have never met. Once you realize the only basis for your procrastination is an unconscious fear of rejection, you can step back, assess the situation, and schedule that appointment you've been putting off for so long.

What critical understanding will allow you to transform procrastination into constructive action? The recognition that the person you have avoided may have no particular feelings about you at all. This person may even find on meeting you that you are a useful resource, and will welcome the skills and experience you have to offer.